From Stephanie

I wish Nathaniel could have understood how many people loved him. I know that he does now. I wanted to share my favorite picture of him with all of his friends. -Stephanie

E-mails Received

Here are the e-mails that I have received regarding Nathaniel: Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers - Andy

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Melissa Fitzgerald
May 27 at 10:15pm
Hey Andy -

Idk if u remember me I'm Melissa Hawkins Fitzgerald from Abilene - Cooper High School 1995- I heard about Nathaniel from some friends in San Angelo and immediately thought of you- I'm so sorry.
Melissa
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Misty Greer Alvarado
May 26 at 9:50pm
If there is anything I can do please let me know. I will pray and hope that the family knows they have a great support system.

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John Weisner
May 25 at 7:56pm
Sorry to hear about Nathaniel I will be praying for his family and also for you
John Weisner

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Jenny Hess Reece
May 25 at 5:39pm
What happened to Nathaniel?? You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jenny

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Cretia Wagner
May 25 at 6:46am
Geez-so sad and no reason for it. Than and I actually spent a good bit of time together some in HS.

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Emily Limbaugh Callaway
May 24 at 8:34pm
I'm really sorry and truly don't know what to say. Yes I am praying and if there is anything else let me know. I haven't seen him in about 2 years, but have thought of him. I never understand these things and they always make my heart hurt.
Thinking of you in this time friend. You are a good friend!
Em

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Summer Anders Button
May 24 at 6:43pm
Hey Andy sorry to hear about your friend. You and the family are in my prayers.

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Lori Allen Wallace
May 24 at 5:01pm
What happened?

Pictures from Jami B.

My Friend

Nathaniel:

It has taken me a while to put together the words that I wanted to say.  Today, June 2nd, you would have turned 32.  It was a week ago we said good bye and laid you to rest.  It was one month ago today, that I emailed you after too long a lapse in our friendship.  I never heard from you.  Your sister said that it was because you weren't sure what to tell those of us who knew you in high school about the choices you had made over the past 15 years.

It wouldn't have mattered.  We would have accepted you as our friend and continued loving you.  That's what friends do.

I have never been more struck with sadness as I was last week in San Angelo.  Though it had been since high school since we had last talked, I felt like we would have picked up right where we left off.  That's how it was with you.  So easy to talk to.  So easy to listen to.  The tragic-ness of your loss was felt in everyone I talked to.  My heart is broken that your daughter will never know your humor.  That your wife, sister, parents, and other family must go on without you. That we, your friends, will never have the opportunity to tell you that we loved you and that we never wanted anything for you, but happiness.  That we would have gladly welcomed you inour home, on the phone, or via email, without judgement.  That's what friends do.  I'm sorry that we failed at being your friend.  I'm sorry that I never got the chance to tell you all the things that now I can't.  I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't answer my email.  And I'm most sorry that I didn't call you, even though I had your number.

Your mother was right, you know.  Each of us has intrinsic worth and no decision we make can take that away.  You were loved by many and, unfortunately, it took your death for us to be able to express those words to you.  We always think we have more time.  There is always tomorrow, or the next reunion.

I hope that you can forgive me.  Forgive me for not keeping in touch.  Forgive me for not finding you sooner.  Forgive me for not calling.

May this space continue on and may your family, your daughter, find comfort in the words written here.  May the pictures and stories help them, us, catch a glimpse of the incredible person that you were.

I pray that you have found comfort in the loving arms of Jesus.  May the Lord Bless You and Keep You.

--Jeremy

Facebook Posts

These are posts left on my profile about Nathaniel. There were others that asked what happened, but I put the ones that left comments. Thanks - Andy

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Andy Caspell Nathaniel Robert Tolle was laid to rest today and is with our Lord and Saviour now. You will be missed my friend and I will never forget you. What a wonderful and uplifting service it was. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers. Please keep them coming as the family and friends will need them for a while. May 26 at 9:24pm

Christi Button Boyd at 9:29pm May 26 via Facebook Mobile

Thank you for sharing who it was. He was always so friendly. I will continue to pray.

Ginger Thompson Paty at 9:55pm May 26

wow...Andy...I am really sorry.

Michael Wheeler at 11:03pm May 26

Andy--
I am so sorry to hear about Nathaniel. He was a really nice guy and I know he will be missed.

Emily Limbaugh Callaway at 7:03am May 27

Prayers.. Of course.

Nancy Haddox at 7:49am May 27

Andy, your words are a sweet tribute to your friend.

Andi Robbins at 10:08pm May 28

Everyone is in my thoughts and prayers right now! He will be missed! I love you all! Let me know if you need anything!

Leya Bryant Grubbs at 12:15pm May 25

Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about Nathaniel. I'll be praying for his family and you too, Andy. Sad, sad news...I know it's hard to lose a good friend, especially a great person like Nathaniel.

Carlene Holder Spicer at 3:39pm May 25

Prayers for you and for his family

Emily Carr at 6:00pm May 25 via Facebook Mobile

Such sad news

Rebecca Fisher Strong at 7:59pm May 25

I'm so sorry to hear about Nate, Andy. I'm thinking of you and his family and friends.

Jennie Porter DelaGarza at 9:19pm May 25

My family is praying for everyone who is suffering this terrible loss. It's so sad. Take care Andy.

Nancy Haddox at 6:54am May 26

Andy, I'm already praying this morning for this family and Nathaniel's friends. I didn't teach him, but I remember him at CHS.

Christi Button Boyd at 4:03pm May 24 via Facebook Mobile

I'm sorry I will definately pray for the family and for you.

Kalyn Schoenewolf at 4:16pm May 24

Prayers to you and his family.

Jennie Porter DelaGarza at 6:12pm May 24

I'm sorry for your loss

Chrys Jones Mundy at 6:17pm May 24 via Facebook Mobile

praying.

Wendy Simpson at 6:39pm May 24

Sorry Andy.

Casey Harris Wasson at 9:09pm May 24

Andy, just saw the death notices in the paper. Nathaniel was an awesome guy, and a true friend. I dont know that he ever met a stranger. He hugged me every time he saw me either in class or in the hall. I know you guys were close and I am lifting you as well as his family up. May the peace and grace of God sustain you. For those of you, like I was, asking "who", it was Nathaniel Tolle.

Rebecca Hamilton at 9:12pm May 24

Oh, no! That's awful.

Rebecca Hamilton at 9:20pm May 24

Sorry that was so abrupt. I blame the shock of that terrible news. I'm so sorry, Andy. We lost touch after high school, but I will always remember Nathaniel's warmth and humor. Such a great guy, such a huge loss. Have arrangements been made yet?

Stephanie Mills at 9:21pm May 24

Andy, I am so sorry for your loss. I was just going through my pictures the other day from the days at CHS and saw a picture of the two of you. I think we were at your house. You and his family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kristen Short Bennett at 9:58pm May 24

Becky and I were just talking about Nathaniel a couple of weeks ago. I'm so sorry to hear the news. Love to all.

Stephen Sides at 10:21pm May 24 via Facebook MobileI had just been thinking about him last week. I don't think I saw him after graduation. Very sad.

Alison McCleskey Zvolanek at 10:42pm May 24

Such very sad news. He always had a smile for everyone.

Kevin Graham at 10:58pm May 24 via Facebook Mobile

I'm sorry to hear that Andy, Nathaniel was a cool guy throughout high school and afterwards i'm sure. My prayers go out to all his close friends and family.

Tiffany Hartgraves at 11:47pm May 24

Andy, I am so sorry to hear about this. It's been many years, but I remember Nathaniel as such a friendly person. I will be keeping his family and all of his friends in my prayers.

Andy Caspell at 12:27am May 25

Thank you all for the kind words. I will pass them along to his family. Please keep the family in your thoughts and prayers now and for a good while. Even after the funeral it will be hard to deal with. Thank you All!!!!! He is for sure looking down on us and giving us that Nathaniel smile!!!!!

From Kimberly Dean

I am so saddened that Nathaniel has passed.  I will never forget the many memories during middle school and high school.  And he always made me smile.  I remember being at a dance at Madison Middle School and he came up and asked me to dance.  Of course I would dance with him, he was one of my best friends…but that was a little difficult since I was 4 foot, 9 inches and he towered over me.  Once we hit the dance floor, I turned around and he was on his knees to dance with me.  It was so sweet and made me laugh out loud.  He was a great friend.  I remember fondly me, Andy and Nathaniel just hanging out all the time.  It was always the three of us.  The world is a much sadder place now that he is gone and I will always hold a special place in my heart for Nathaniel Tolle, my dear friend!

The sacrifice you made for me

On Tuseday I had to say goodbye to you for the last time. Although I have felt your presence with me the last few days, it is still not easy to deal with. For many years we hung out together everyday and sometimes every hour of everyday. We grew apart over the years, but we were always best friends. You did not know what kind of impact you had on my life. So now I will tell you.....

Many years ago you started doing some things that I did not agree with and that were not good for you. But as stubborn as you were you did not listen to me. But, I know now that there was a reason for this. You were sacrificing yourself so that I did not make the same mistakes that you made. I did not try this or try that or drink this or drink that. It took all these years to realize it, but you did these things so that I would not do them. I am sure there were other reasons that you did them, but I know now that you did some of them for me.

I thought I lost you back in 1996 after your accident, but you were strong and learned to walk, talk, eat and breathe again. You were sooooo strong then, and I need you to help me be strong now.

Nate - Than - Nathaniel......you will be missed, but I know that you will not be far away.

I Love you my best friend,
Andy

From Jami B.

Oh, Nathaniel. I've thought of him a lot lately...truthfully there are a lot of giggles thinking about funny things he would say! And a lot of gratitude for the amazing friendship we used to have. I'm so sorry for the loss in his family and especially for his daughter, Annabelle. Although there is a wide space in time for me, I still feel the loss of him as closely as if it were 15 years ago.

The reason for this...

It was with great sadness today, May 26, 2009, that we said goodbye to Nathaniel.  After visiting with his mom, dad, sister, wife, and little girl at the funeral home, I wanted to create a way for those that knew him to remember him and share with his family pictures, stories, and words of remembrance to honor his life.  Nathaniel leaves behind a 2 year old daughter who hopefully can find comfort in your words and share in your memories of her daddy who was only in her life for a short time.

Please submit your stories, pictures, or other thoughts to Tolleblog@gmail.com